Hope: Stupid or a Blessing?

Sometimes I really wonder, is the fact that I hope for the best and use that lingering hope to make myself think things are possible a blessing or just plain stupid? I mean people tell me that it's a good thing and that it helps me see the best in life and all that but it also seems to screw me over. I like to think that all things are possible but sometimes they just aren't. Perhaps there is a time to just let go, but I usually don't find it until it smacks me in the face. Ugggghhhhhh I just don't know. I'm in a situation where everyone is practically (but not really) yelling at me to just let my hopes go, that there are none and that it's over. But I really don't want to. People can tell me as much as they want that it wouldn't work out or that it just wasn't meant to be. All I have to say is bullshit! Sorry to those of you reading this who have said that, it really isn't meant as an insult and I do appreciate the fact that you are just looking out for my well being, but is anything in life really meant to be? Am I gonna walk down the street and suddenly go "Holy Crap!! That's it! She's the one!" You can never know your perfect match or whether or not something will work out until you try. You work at it, it doesn't just click. How much fun would a relationship be if it just clicked? I think it would be boring.

Sometimes you want things to happen so bad that you will hold on to even the smallest glimmer of a hint of a possibility that things could still work, or at least I do. It's pretty much hopeless, trust me I know, but I don't want to give up on it. Is it going to hurt me more in the end? Probably. Is it actually going to work out? Probably not. Do I care? Not one damn bit. I hope and I dream for things to go my way and most of the time they don't. Even though that is true I can't let myself give up on the things I want until it is absolutely apparent that I have no chance. I can't give up on even the smallest chance that it could work. What would I be missing out on if I assumed it was over and in fact it wasn't? I'll put up with a little extra pain if it means one day reaching the point where my hopes become reality. Is it worth it? Every god damn bit. I know what I want and I know what I'm missing and yeah it sucks at times, ok mostly all of the time, but how is it going to feel when I finally realize that my hope really is a blessing? Well I'll let you know when that day comes ... but don't hold your breath.

Until next time, Shadow out :-D