Just talk to me ...

Such a simple thing to want, to wish and hope for. I sit in front of my computer with programs open for the sole purpose of hoping she'll talk to me. I can't talk to you because I do that too much already and I don't want to be intrusive. I don't want to push or pressure you in any way because I already know it's a lost cause ... I knew from the beginning. I'm tired of hoping and believing things and people will change, and despite the fact that I know it won't work I'll hold on. Even if it's only because I know the only other choice is to let go of how I feel, I'll hold on to you even when you won't hold on to me. I say I'm tired of all this and yet I do it again and again. If people won't change then maybe I should, but that's something I refuse to do. This is me, whatever "this" is, and even if it will make things work it wouldn't be me anyway. So I wait and hope you talk to me. You're on right now, I see it ... but do you notice me?

Until next time, Shadow out