Home Number Two

Well it's been a few days since I've posted, but I've been trying to keep myself busy. The whole restlessness thing doesn't sit very well with me so I've been trying to keep active. Went to my best friend's family reunion on Sunday, I might as well be part of the family. We ate and played softball all afternoon. I'm still in shape but my legs haven't really done much in awhile so I was kinda sore come Monday. I got scolded by someone Monday night for not blogging in awhile so I was planning on posting something then ... but ended up not. Haha typical me. Anyway Mr. Complainer, here's a new post.

Not really sure what I'm going to talk about, I just feel like I should say something. I'm at my best friend's house right now and things are as good as ever. His friendship is one I was both worried about and also unconcerned about all in one. We didn't talk all that much during our first years at school but I wasn't worried because these kinds of friendships don't fray that easily. But of course I wondered whether things would change. Although we've both matured, sort of, in our own ways nothing has changed. I showed up yesterday and the chaos followed. We played some video games, threw a Frisbee, a football, chased frogs, and tormented his family. The thing it seems I missed the most is the unending stream of sarcastic insults and jokes that always follows when I stop by. And of course he assumed I'd be staying for a few days. We never plan these things, we just do it. It's comforting to be back here because it really is another home for me. At my actual house there is always kids running around and screaming and arguing siblings as well as just lots of crap that I don't feel like dealing with. Here it's just fun. I mean every family has its arguments and such but it's still calmer here than at the other house. And of course they make sure i don't take myself too seriously. They always make sure that I realize that any worries I have or things I think about too much don't really matter. Most of what I do is made into a joke and it makes me realize that they're really just little things. It's nice to be somewhere where the only expectations are that I crack a joke every few seconds and that I smile.

The expectations of people really do get to me sometimes. I know people don't expect me to be perfect but sometimes it just seems that way. The way people assume that I will do well in school, get my work done, always be able to help, or always do well in a race gets to me after awhile. Sometimes it just seems that I'm really not allowed to do bad, make mistakes or frown. I am in no way perfect, but I try to be as close as I can because it seems people expect it of me. I will always help and I will always run myself to the point where I can no longer stand. Why you may ask, because it's what people seem to need of me. Am I really that reliable? Can I really do all that is asked of me? Probably not but that isn't going to stop me.

Hahaha I just started thinking about something that crosses my mind a lot. Sorry if anything I say seems kind of conceded, I just think too much and this is what comes out. It may seem like I think a lot of myself but I really don't. People tell me it doesn't sound like I'm conceded but i worry anyway. I hate conceded people who brag and talk about themselves too much and I always worry I sound like that. Anyway just don't take anything I say too seriously they're just the ramblings of a crazy kid.

Anyway, I'm off to Chipotle for dinner soon so......

Until next time, Shadow out :-D